Video Update!

Weekends with Dad!

The fort

Playing in the fort with Dad

Diapered in organic cotton, playing in our new organic garden!

Dad has pudding!

An Easter Update

It has been a very busy couple of months. Danley has been so busy with church events - float building and Easter prepping we have hardly seen him lately. We're looking forward to things settling down for a short time before Summer takes off.
Kiersyn's been busy too - we went to see Country Critters when they came to visit the dayschool and she went to the butterfly exhibit at the Fort Worth botanical gardens with her KK and Poppi.

We were in the Rodeo Parade last weekend. Dayschool had a Noah's Ark float and the kids dressed as animals to ride on the Ark.

Yes that's the front page of the newspaper! Tell my husband how awesome his float idea was!

Mr. Dan in costume, working the crowd.

Notice K decided this was a great time for a nap

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We took bluebonnet pictures right down the street from us. They are amazing this year! The "good" pictures are of course on Facebook but here are some outtakes. 

I love her face. Straight out of Calvin and Hobbes.

Drowning in Bluebonnets. Told you they were amazing!

Today was the "Easter Eggstrazaganza". Kiersyn was having somewhat of a rough day but still hunted eggs like an old pro! Check her out in the video below!

"I said, no pictures."

Sweet Baby.

Then we went to see the Easter Bunny at the mall (ugh). I was afraid K would freak out. Instead she thought the bunny was hilarious, hugged the bunny, cuddled the bunny and shed a few tears when we had to leave.

K has been seeing a chiropractor for a few weeks and we have seen wonderful results -- Heaven help us she's been sleeping through the night (12-13 hours) for nearly 2 weeks. All is not entirely well though - she still has reflux trouble with citrus and fruit and we are waiting for the results of some GI tests to see if they can pinpoint anything else that might be exacerbating her problems. She also continues to display food seeking behaviors that can be downright exhausting. It seems to be simply habit leftover from comfort eating at the height of reflux - something that we hope, like the rest of it...will simply get better with time.
Thankfully, most of the time she is just a very happy toddler. It just amazes me every day how big my baby is getting. She has started to randomly repeat things we say, she nods yes and shakes her head no, she's climbing on everything, running, kicking and throwing a ball, she can point to all the parts of her body and say most of them. She's been going to classes at The Little Gym and loves climbing all over the gymnastics equipment and walking on the balance beam!

 Below is a video of time with Dad before bed tonight - they're playing some ridiculous game where shoes are bombs. I'll have it be known that I did not condone this activity ;)

Time In vs. Time Out

Spoke straight to my heart.

Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to help children behave better, first we have to make them feel worse?

To My Daughter on Her First Birthday

I saw an amazing Jewish movie a few years ago called Ushpizin. There’s a part in the movie when the Rabbi is asked how he has been. He answers “Terrible. Blessed be He.”  It has stayed with me and never has it been more real than this first year of your life.  Looking back, by Grace it is already hazy and seems like a bad dream - those days of trying desperately to keep you from screaming in pain. It was awful baby. You would cry and cry and writhe in pain and beg to eat without ceasing because it helped your throat feel better. For months Daddy had to swing you in your car seat for half an hour to calm you down enough to sleep. It went on and on – til you were 7 months old when it finally started to get better. So many hurdles we had to climb over. 23 doctors visits in 6 months. Reflux, Sandifers, an upper GI, feeding problems, a swallow study, an upper endoscopy, Torticollis, Plagiocephaly, Surgery… it was one thing after another and there were times when it felt like too much and so many times that if didn’t seem fair for someone so little to go through so much. How thankful we are to have made it to the other side. That’s not to say there weren’t wonderful moments because there were. Good days when you smiled more than you cried with moments when I was able to just hold you in wonder. All the hard stuff may have been terrible for us and for you – but Blessed. Be. He.  Never have I known grace, love, awe, wonder, pride like I have come to know in the past year. You have taught me so much: that sometimes praise is sacrifice and that breathing can be prayer. That rejoicing is a choice you make even when you don’t feel grateful. That there will be times when people think you are crazy or stupid for doing what you know to be right (which makes it both more difficult and more important to do it anyway). That the most love and beauty is found in unexpected places and the tiniest people. That love still overwhelms me - there are so many things I love about you: Your easy smile, the way your nose crinkles when you think something is silly, the precious way you whisper “hi” behind your pacifier in the middle of the night, the hug you greet me with every single morning that traps me against the crib til you’re ready to let go, your bright blue eyes and your sweet sloppy kisses. As your personality has become evident, I am continuously amazed that I get to be your mom. We’ve learned so much about you already:

You are affectionate. You LOVE to give hugs and kisses. You will seek us out just for a hug and a “MUAAH” kiss.

You are a very social being. You love to people watch – to smile and wave at everyone you see. Your first time at The Little Gym you tried to talk to and hug the other babies (who either looked at you like you were a bit crazy or didn’t notice at all!).

You are intelligent, curious and observant. You said your first word at 7 months and surprise us with the new things you know and understand every day.

You are independent. You want to do things by yourself, on the other side of the room, without help!

You love music. Before you were born we went to a concert and you went crazy - kicking and flipping in my tummy. After you were born you would smile when music played. Now you dance to any beat!

You love being outside. You stand at the windows, watching and exclaiming over the birds and trees, and when your reflux was still awful just being outside often helped you relax.

You are tenacious and unyielding. When you want something, you don’t give up until you are heard. If someone tries to take your hand when you are busy, you just sit down until they understand – you’re doing it on your own. Sure makes it hard on mom and dad when we have a different idea of how things should be done. But oh, how your passion makes my heart swell with pride. You have a fierce spirit – the kind that makes a fiery warrior who will stand for truth and justice without compromise. Those are the kind of people that change the world baby. I pray every day that God gives us the wisdom and patience to guide your heart. Blessed be He.

I am so blessed by you and can’t wait to watch you grow and learn in the coming years.

I love you more than you could ever know.

Happy first birthday baby girl.

By the way – this video? We try to give the best to you – we only feed you organic and the closest you had come to a dessert was a tiny bite of ice cream. This was your first inorganic, sweet treat and I thought you wouldn’t know what to do with it. Turns out, you knew EXACTLY what to do.

Camera Fun

I'm a little (read: WAY) behind on blogging but I had to share these videos. After nap time today,  we were figuring out the webcam on my computer so we can learn to use Skype. I may be biased but this just gets cuter and cuter...

Spirit Led Parenting

This is an entirely different kind of post. So before I jump into it here's the latest in our world for those who are looking for an update.
Bad News-
I am one month post sinus surgery and at my last appointment the Dr. confirmed that there is in fact infection in my left sinuses. Again. Antibiotic round 6? 7? I don't even know anymore. I can not tell you how frustrating this is.
Good News-
Kiersyn is doing wonderfully. We are still working on weaning off her medicine but she is EATING. Like a normal baby. Still have no teeth and we are still a little cautious but really. Eating. Solids. I didn't think it would happen this soon. I am so very happy for my precious little one to be experiencing normalcy I could cry. She is also SLEEPING. In a couple of weeks we have gone from more than 5 wakings in a night to sleeping 11 and 12 hours straight. It has only been a few nights and it may not last forever but we are getting closer and closer to what Dr. Sears calls "walking away from reflux".

The rest of the post is dedicated to my struggles with parenting over the past few months.


I have always been independent. And I suppose in some ways I have always been about resisting the mainstream. I don't mean this in a "being a Christian puts me at odds with the world" kind of way. I mean it in a ..."my convictions sometimes lead me away from mainstream Christianity" way. The moment I became a parent, this truth became even more alienating. There is a way of parenting it is essentially assumed that a mainstream Christian should follow. It's highlighted in many popular books, often circulated among new mothers in churches today (Think: Babywise). It often includes things like spanking, crying it out, putting baby on a schedule, feeding baby on a schedule...
From day one I have struggled with these issues. My heart just said no. To all of them. I made up my mind I would do things how I thought they should be done but a piece of my heart has felt ashamed. At one point I remember my husband inquiring to a family member about whether or not it was okay to let a baby cry-it-out and that family member responding "You have to".  It stuck with me because it made me feel sick. As if somehow I am weak for disagreeing with every ounce of my being. As if all these Godly parents around me, even members of my own family are doing things a certain way and I feel convicted not to...surely something is wrong with me.

And then tonight I found (was led to?) a blog

http://sortacrunchy.typepad.com/

It turns out I am not the only one. Not by a long shot. These two women, Laura and Megan, created this blog when their hearts were in the same place I just described: feeling alone, alienated, frustrated and like they needed to keep their parenting beliefs hush-hush. Now, they are working on a book set to come out next spring entitled Spirit-Led Parenting.
So this is where I share my heart.
Tonight I understood for the first time that I am not a weaker mother.

From the SortaCrunchy Blog:


"AJ was fighting a cold last week, and I was up several times Wednesday night/Thursday morning rocking her. 
At one point while I was rocking her, I felt like God spoke clearly to me that it's about dying to self.
So much of what is spoken to mothers (in secular and Christian material) is about maintaining and reclaiming yourself after you become a mother, but we've heard so few suggestions that one worthy response to God entrusting you with this little one is dying to your devotion to yourself.
The perspective we share is not a popular one . . . this hard truth that the first year should be less about training our babies and more about allowing ourselves to be trained by Him.  And yet we do believe that if we let Him, God can use that first intense year of baby's life to train us how to live a life that is fully surrendered to Him. Mothering with a servanthood approach can and will squeeze the very last drops of self out of us.  If we yield to it, there is such potential for spiritual growth and for learning - in the most hands-on, real-life way possible - what it truly means to be a servant leader.  It can be a year of transformation from which we emerge with a refined and sharpened perspective, equipped to experience other people, other relationships, and other situations through the eyes of a servant."

Wow.  


and then I read their post about the spiritual dimension of nighttime parenting - in other words, what you both endure and gain when you don't sleep train or use cry it out - and in an instant I accepted the words my heart has been beating to for nearly 10 months - die. to. self. I am eternally grateful to find that there are so many others who believe responding every one of the 9-12 times my 8 month old woke up in the night was not spoiling but serving. My eyes stung with tears, my heart ached and my soul announced a resounding  "Yes Lord"

It. is. ok. to parent how the Spirit leads me and to recognize and acknowledge that is what I am doing. To believe whole-heartedly that spanking and crying it out and scheduling and that book Babywise are not where the Spirit has led me. It is ok to be led towards gentleness. It is ok to not sleep train, not believe in the need for self soothing, scheduling, spanking, and to think spoiling has nothing to do with how often I hold my child. It is ok to immediately respond every time my child cries, to rock her for the simple reason that I enjoy the moment of affection and quiet time together and to believe the need for her to learn to fall asleep on her own as an infant is a culturally created myth. It is ok to be different. The Spirit does not lead us all on the same path. But the Spirit does lead. And I must follow.

With this realization comes understanding that I do not have to hide or apologize for how I am raising my daughter. This part is new and I'm still trying to come to terms with it.

In any event,
I urge you, I beg you, if you are a Chritian parent or will soon become one or might someday become one or are one right nowand you have questioned things of the "mainstream Christian parenting" sort... like spanking, crying it out, sleep training, vaccinating OR you have considered or wondered about co-sleeping, natural parenting, organic living, creation care ...
PLEASE
check out the blog.
I have been reading for hours now. I have laughed, cried, nodded and prayed my way through it...
Read a little. You might be surprised where the Spirit leads you.